IN-N-OUT Virgin

Before you go “omg omg omg I *LOVE* In-N-Out! I wish they had one where I live!”….let me just warn you that this isn’t a rave review, but it IS my opinion. And everyone has a right to my opinion.

For years, I have been seeing “In-N-Out Burger” stickers on cars and reading status updates on Facebook with squeals of joy when learning of a franchise opening near them. I thought it had to be pretty special, with all joint’s the die-hard fans. Some of you might recall that I spent some time living and working in the California Bay Area near San Francisco. ‘In-N-Out Burgers’ is based in Cali, but I never did consume fast food during that year, and I haven’t come across any franchises elsewhere.

Today, I’m being put up in a hotel by my company while the truck undergoes repairs at Peterbilt here in Fresno, and wouldn’t ya know, there’s an “In-N-Out” right across the parking lot. After checking in, I wandered over and was surprised to find that THIS was the entire menu:

I chose a combo to-go and went back to my hotel room. On the way, the gal from the front desk also reassured me that their burgers are “so good”.

Once at the hotel room desk, I dug out the contents in the sack and commenced eating. The burger was average. Nothing remotely special; not in taste, ingredients or in presentation. The fries are natural cut but lacked taste and broke very easily. For the fries, you dipped them in either ketchup or their “special sauce” which is literally Thousand Island salad dressing. Even the employee described it as such.

Today has been one let-down after another where the hype doesn’t match the experience whatsoever. First, the big announcement of Facebook’s changing layout, which was completely anti-climactic….and now this. The disappointment is nothing I’ll slit my wrists over, obviously, but I’ll never get that $6.64 back.

END!

A Fair Compromise (final rant on this subj.)

Here’s a serious question. If a woman HAS TO HAVE an abortion, would you prefer she go to a clean, reputable medical provider…a questionable back-alley shop…or her own bathroom using a coat hanger, likely killing herself, too, as a result?

This is the thing. If you’re playing an active role in the legislative dealings on banning abortion and shutting down those reputable clinics…or, hell, I’ll say it… going as far as to threaten the lives of employees in those clinics… then you are giving some desperate women the *green light* to use barbaric means to unfortunately get the job done.

I’m not pro-abortion, but I sure as hell don’t feel I have the right to tell another individual what they should or shouldn’t do, or can and cannot do with their own body. But I tell you what, if states continue to ban all abortion services, I’m going to start writing up a bill that legally prohibits families from conceiving more than 2 children, due to the very real threat of world overpopulation. If a couple continues to have more children, they shall be fined (taxed) heavily, annually, for 18 years PER CHILD past the 2nd child. If they evade taxes, there will be an order of enforcement to medically sterilize both offenders, billed TO the offenders. The couple will have the option, however, to adopt a maximum of 2 more children through the existing system in place if they have reached their biological allotted “2 children” max.  This would theoretically help the overcrowded adoption agencies and orphanages (help those children, too, obviously) and the legal enforcements MIGHT teach some personal responsibility and control. Existing families who already have more than 2-4 children are exempt once the law goes into effect, but cannot continue to have more children.  Medical records will be regularly monitored by the Health Dept to ensure compliance.  What? Kansas’ Health Dept is already checking medical records of patients at abortion clinics under the guise of HIPPA.

I don’t think this is unreasonable. China already limits the number of children allowed in a family to ONE child. I think I’m being generous here. This isn’t a matter of whether or not you can afford a soccer team-sized family… it’s about overpopulation, spread of disease, yadda yadda.  If you have a problem with the forced sterilization thing, you shouldn’t. That just means you get to have all the unprotected sex you want! If that spreads deadly disease as a result, then I guess that will lessen the overpopulation problem as well.

If the idea that the federal government or individual voters in each state can vote on your human or so-called “God-given” rights frightens you… but you’re voting to ban safe abortion rights for women you don’t even know… then you’re doing unto others as you WOULDN’T want done unto you.  If you feel like you want to be a champion for the unborn, you should just stick to putting obnoxious signs up in your yard guilting mothers into choosing life. You have a freedom of speech, after all.  And to you gun-toting religious extremists out there, God didn’t task you with judging others on this Earth, lest ye be judged. Remember that.

 

And DONE.

Clear As Mud: A World Geography Lesson

You don’t have to admit you didn’t know one or any of these facts, but just to clear things up:

1. Great Britain consists of three countries on one ISLAND (not Continent); Scotland (North), Wales (South/West) and England (South/East).

2. Britain and Great Britain are two separate things. The word “Britain” is derived from the original Roman province of Britannia during their “We’re going to take over the world!” phase.  Britannia/Britain is only England and Wales because Scotland wasn’t fully conquered. (GO BRAVEHEART!! or something.)

3. Now that we’ve established that Britain and Great Britain aren’t the same… I should also mention that GB/Britain aren’t the same as the United Kingdom (UK) either. Ugh.  Technicalities.

4. The United Kingdom consists of Scotland, Wales, England and Northern Ireland.  Ireland is a nearby island to the West of Wales, and was originally part of the U.K….however, with the exception of the Northern tip, most of Ireland decided they wanted to chill by themselves and become a Republic back in 1921.

5. The UK is technically part of Europe (the mainland) and the EU (European Union), but decided not to adopt the Euro currency and kept with the Pound Sterling.  Which, by the way the Euro is tanking these days, was probably a smart move.

6. The British Isles aren’t all part of the U.K., but GB is the largest of the islands.

7. The people of Wales are Welsh, not Welch. They’re not a grape soda. Nor do they have blow holes. Most speak English and many speak Welsh…which is a very complicated language, I might add.  Word to the wise: Don’t assume all British accents are ‘English’ and for the love god, don’t call a Welsh person English or my girlfriend WILL beat you up. She’d rather be called a sheep shagger.

8. Additionally, the people of Scotland are not Scotch. That’s a liquor.  And a brand of clear adhesive tape.  They’re Scots. Scotsmen. Scotswomen. Scottish.

END!

A Note To Mr. Herring On Senate Bill 1115

“If abortionists care about mothers as much as they claim, they could provide their services for free,” countered, Jason Herring, president of Right to Life of Idaho, co-sponsor of the bill.

What an idiotic statement. Would it sound any smarter if I said “If physicians and nurses cared as much about their patients as they claim, they should provide their services for free.” ??? Sure, let’s cut off funding to all the hospitals and outpatient services because their education and training must’ve been free and they’re only doing their jobs out of the goodness of their hearts.

Hey, Jason Herring, because women will have less access to affordable and professional medical abortion services, the mothers WILL just continue do it themselves or find unprofessional help for free, won’t they. It’s called using a wire hanger. How do you like THAT visual? It’s a sickening thought and you’re promoting it, whether you know it or not.

Men should have NO say on this subject, unless it’s a father coming to the decision with the mother. Plain and simple. You have a right to an opinion, though… and this is mine.

“My $.02″ – Vol. 1: Entrepreneurs

For those of you seriously considering starting a business, whether it’s at home or requires renting/leasing/contructing a building… I applaud your ambition.  Now, make sure you’re being smart about this.  Here’s a little tough love from someone who cares about you.

Scenario: “MMMmm, I love coffee SO MUCH.  Dude, I should totally open up my own coffee shop!”

There are several problems in doing this.  First, the market is so over-saturated with coffee shops on every corner, you would get lost in the crowd.  It’s one of those “dime a dozen” businesses.  Some places boast a coffee drink with a certain combo of ingredients not found at, say, Starbucks.  Some shops have over-caffeinated teenagers that immediately give you a sense of anxiety when they take your order.  Some shops host live music.  Some also sell bakery goods, tea and sandwiches.

These are all nice things, mind you, but HOW, with all the places offering these things, will you ever think of something unique enough to draw a loyal patronage, but also make a long-term profit?  What did Starbucks have going for it that has made it into the corporate giant that it is today?  Basically, they got in there right when the coffee trend started.  They got the investors to help them market the company like crazy, they opened shops all over the country, they had a great logo which helps for recognizability (ya like that? I just made that up all by myself!) and merchandise, and they even started selling music compilation CD’s because people liked the ‘soundtrack’ over the speakers.  I’ve heard something about the quality of the beans they use in their brews, but since I’m not a fan of coffee and its taste, I can’t really speak on that.  The one big thing going for them is that their product is habit-forming.  It’s caffeine.  Millions of people on this planet claim they aren’t human until they’ve had their morning cup of Joe.  That, btw, is pretty sad.  It’s so addictive, in fact, that people don’t even notice that Starbucks never has sales or discounts for them…the true blue devoted many.

You essentially get the idea behind what I’m saying.  Whatever you choose to do, do it well, find a niche, keep your customers/clients happy and try not to go in way over your head.  Often times, you’re just trying to financially break even the first 3-5 years.

Now, go get ‘em, tiger and good luck!

Cure For National Recession Discovered!

Picture with me, for a moment, the late Chris Farley as “Matt Foley – Motivational Speaker” on SNL. Remember what he sounded like? Okay, good.

Driving through Eastern Montana, I tuned into a local radio station, and a preacher who basically sounded like that, was yelling where a normal tone of voice would’ve been sufficient. It was a 2 minute radio advertisement for his ministry. All I heard was “blah blah blah blah blah…” and then….

“The answer to the nation’s economic woes is this! STOP KILLING BABIES!!!”

LOL! I don’t mean to laugh but, please. It’s obvious this guy didn’t take a government & economics course in high school, if he even made it that far with his education. Here are just a few examples that I can think of as to how his ‘logic’ makes no sense, aside from the fact it just sounds completely retarded.

1. Unfit or under-prepared mothers using government-funded programs to raise their child.

2. Medical costs for under-insured or uninsured mothers who had expected or unexpected complications during their pregnancy or labor.

3. Medical costs and government-funded programs for physically or mentally disabled children as a result of complications during pregnancy/birth.

4. Over-population.

5. Government-funded adoption or foster care for “unwanted” children.

All of these government programs are funded by tax payers and borrowed money (namely, China). Tell me how FORCING mothers to continue pregnancies will save our economy and financial crisis? He’s basically another religious fundamentalist putting it in his followers’ heads that the biggest national issue at the current time is somehow the direct result of murdering babies. He doesn’t have to explain WHY, he just has to put those two things together in one sentence.

He dropped from the same Crazy Tree as the politicians who are trying to call for criminal interrogations for women who have had a miscarriage, or trying to change the wording from “victim” to “accuser” in the case of alleged rape, or passing a law to allow the arming of state citizens so they can legally go after anyone enabling abortion, or removing child labor laws. I don’t support every little thing Democrats do, but there’s no way I would call myself a Republican with whack jobs like that out there right now.

Scary.

Friends Don’t Let Friends Use Bad Fonts

As a self-proclaimed amateur graphic designer, I have a few pet peeves. Fonts would be a big one, and designing craptastic logos would be another. Please take a mo to view this short video so YOU don’t become a victim!

Now that you’ve been schooled on what fonts NOT to use, I’ll move on to the topic of logos. One of the ugliest and most public logos today (and you’ll be seeing more of it in the coming months) is the 2012 London Olympic Games disaster.

Would you believe that London’s Olympic Committee paid someone the equivalent of $800,000 (£400,000) to design that glob of bile? To the question of how much the Olympic logo cost, one intellectual on Answers.com responded: “$800,000 worth it?…. I THINK NOT… i could do a better job drawing a logo for 2012 with my c*ck.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. In fact, I was inspired to submit an alternative logo that is similar, yet seemingly more fitting:

What would the Olympic Games be without a mascot? London decided to go with these fellows.

No, they aren’t revamped cyclops Teletubbies. These would be Wenlock & Mandeville. WTF are they, you ask? The Guardian (U.K.) online publication explains. “Organisers have unveiled their mascots – creatures supposedly fashioned from droplets of steel used to build the stadium.” Additionally, “With a metallic finish, a single large eye made out of a camera lens, a London taxi light on their heads and the Olympic rings represented as friendship bracelets on their wrists, they resemble characters dreamed up for a Pixar animation.” Really? They look more like a nightmare to me.

London, had you won the Summer Olympics bid in 1982, this logo might have been a tad more appropriate, but I would’ve expected more out of you. Perhaps teal and purple, too? Instead, if you look closely, it looks more like Lisa Simpson is giving her brother a B.J. Thanks for that visual.

END!

Gay Marriage & Abortion: The Biggies

Instead of posting occasional opinionated status updates on Facebook regarding the issues of gay marriage and abortion rights, I’m going to lay it all out right here. I don’t care whether or not you agree with me, because we all carry differing personal beliefs and values. You are welcome, however, to explain why you agree or disagree, but if it’s purely based on your religious faith, save your opinion for someone who hasn’t heard THAT before. Which would probably be no one.

GAY MARRIAGE

Simply put, if you don’t like gay marriage, DON’T HAVE ONE. I don’t know if it’s mostly that people disagree with the idea because they feel “we” will try to force their pastors, ministers, rabbi’s and priests to perform gay weddings against their will “because it’s law”…. or that they just don’t like to visualize a man french kissing another man. Here’s the thing, folks. In order to be legally married in the U.S., you must obtain a marriage license, have your ceremony (church, courthouse, where ever) and the person who performed the ceremony (varies by state: http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelicenses/a/officiants.htm) needs to file for the marriage certificate afterward. You’re not just “automatically married” as soon as your clergyman says “I now pronounce you blah blah blah.”

In short, I firmly believe that our government should change the wording from “marriage” to “civil union,” as it is a legal union between two consenting adults under the eyes of the LAW. Because there is a clear separation of church and state in the United States Constitution, “Law” is not defined as “God’s Law.” If you want a spiritual marriage with your spouse under the eyes of your God, if it makes you feel better, then go ahead and do that SEPARATELY. Bear in mind that it will have no legal standing and would be performed by the church under their own discretion. Done and done.

As a reminder, there are certain criteria you must meet in order to get legally married in the U.S. They are as follows:

- being at least the age of consent (usually 18, though sometimes you may marry younger with your parents’ consent)
- not being too closely related to your intended spouse
- having the mental capacity — that is, you must understand what you are doing and what consequences your actions may have
- being sober at the time of the marriage (obviously the previous two are an exception in Las Vegas)
- not being married to anyone else
- getting a blood test  (for real?), and
- obtaining a marriage license.

Nothing, in the above legal requirements, states you must be a man/woman couple. It goes without saying that you both must be human in order to be consensual, so don’t even THINK about using “marrying your dog” as a comparison. It has already been said before, and it would still sound idiotic and ignorant now.

So, in closing on this topic, I say marriages of the legal and religious sort be completely separate, which would only make sense, Constitutionally.  Surely the government could find some kind of benefit in more unions, because I sure as hell know divorce attorneys could.

ABORTION

I have a ‘moderate liberal’ take on this subject.  Let me say up front that Pro-Choice DOES NOT mean Pro-Abortion.  Here are the reasons I believe a woman should have the choice to terminate the pregnancy, and ideally when:

- Victim of rape, and this includes molestation/incest

- A full-term pregnancy would cause almost certain complications with the mother and/or baby, up to the possibility of death

- It is HER baby, HER body and not ours to have any say over.  Until that baby is born, he/she isn’t even a U.S. citizen under the law

- As early term as absolutely possible

- Without abortion rights, adoption and foster care agencies would be overwhelmed.

In turn, here are the reasons I believe a woman shouldn’t have an abortion:

- Sexual carelessness

- Waiting until a later term to abort because she couldn’t make up her mind sooner

- There are more resources available than ever before for young mothers or others in difficult circumstances

- Adoption as an option.  I know, I remember what I wrote above.  I’m just saying.

If the link still works and connects you to this article, read the kind of terrifying mindset that a large number of extreme Pro-Lifers are in right now:  http://iowaindependent.com/52869/iowa-bills-open-door-for-use-of-deadly-force-to-protect-the-unborn?utm_campaign=twitter&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=twitter

I want to make it very clear that, above all, I still don’t believe I (or anyone else, for that matter) have the right to vote on what a person can or cannot do with his or her own body… inside OR out.  We should leave it up to the individual to come to a moral or logical decision, we shouldn’t make it for them.  The more we dabble in the affairs of others, playing with basic human and individual rights, the less human we become.  Would YOU like it if I could vote on YOUR right to marry the person you love?  How about if I could vote on limiting the number of children you’re allowed to have in your family due to the threat of world overpopulation and disease?  Hmm, well, that seems practical actually, but you’d still fight tooth and nail to preserve your right to have 18 babies if you wanted, even if you couldn’t afford all of them.  Which brings up the topic of Welfare in my mind, but that’s another rant altogether for another time.

You Might Be A PalTalk Lesbian If…

1. As soon as you gain a girlfriend, her screen name is suddenly added to your chat room title and/or you create a “couple” screen name that declares you two are a genuine, certified item.

 

2. After 1-3 weeks of chatting online with someone, you propose to her without even having met her yet… and may or may not have made up an elaborate story exclaiming how long you’ve *really* known each other in order to justify the pace of the “relationship.”

 

3. You call her your “wife” immediately following the online proposal. Screw the wedding step. You know what? Don’t even worry about the proposal either.

 

4. You’ve been a member of PalTalk for 6 months and have already had 3 girlfriends online that you’ve played the same cheesy dated love songs to in the music rooms.

 

5. You’ve put some kind of “soulmate” or “love of my life” away message up in the Pal list to every one of the girlfriends you’ve had online.

 

6. You think the old “U-HAUL Lesbian” stereotype is outdated. Move the girl in the FIRST time you meet her! That’s the way of the future!

 

7. Approximately 97% of the “lesbians” you meet online are still married to and living with their husbands… and you’re probably one of them, you filthylyingwhore.

 

8. Your screen name includes one of the following words to describe yourself: cutie, sweet, hot, sexy, gorgeous. 9 out of 10 women with screen names including those words in their screen name are NOT.

 

9. The average length of your relationships online are 2-6 weeks. And that’s being generous.

 

10. You squawk about “bitches” and their drama in your away messages, or sound off about it on mic in a chat room, yet you’re a primary instigator of it by squawking about it in the first place.

 

11. The music you play on mic sounds tinny and crappy because you put your mic up to one of your PC speakers, meanwhile the rest of us have to listen to your phone conversation in the background.

 

12. You’ve been on PalTalk for a grand total of 3 days, so you believe you’re seasoned enough to admin your own room. Now you’re being barraged with angry roomies for bouncing women, so you bounce the complainers, too. Eff them! Mmmm, powerrrr!

 

13. You were either run off of Yahoo chat by people who hated you, so you joined PalTalk to find fresh, new victims who don’t know your games.  Or, you were sick of the drama on Yahoo and came to PalTalk in search of greener pastures…and the same drama.

 

14. The music you play is circa 1978-1996 light rock/easy listening/disco and early ’90s club music consisting of the following artists/bands: Celine Dion, Cher, BeeGee’s, Celine Dion, Meatloaf, Enigma, Celine Dion and Celine Dion.

 

15. You create your own new chat room, you speak perfect English, yet your room title reads like a lady Neanderthal leapt through time and just discovered technology… and other large, hairy women. (example: “woman who love lesbian 2011″) That’s an actual room name that exists, folks. At least she spelled “lesbian” correctly. Gotta reward the little achievements.

 

16. Once you have established a relationship with a girl you’ve known for all of 4 Instant Message conversations, you and your girlfriend shall relinquish all individuality, including your given name and screen name. You shall, henceforth, only be known as “baby/honey/sweetie/babe/wife.”

 

*** This list was compiled by one CurvesAhead (moi).  If you’re offended by any of the above statements, then… LOLOL!!

Controversy Is My Middle Name

I’m going to throw a few topics out here and I want you to think about how they make you feel. Do you believe they are real and exist? Why or why not?

Magic & Spells

Demons

Ghosts

Aliens

God

Are you surprised that I put “God” in that list? You shouldn’t be. “God” is as mysterious and could be as fabricated as the rest of the above.

Let me lay it out this way…

If you believe in God, miracles, the Holy Ghost and demons (is that mostly a Catholic thing?)…then, naturally, you should also believe in ghosts and magic. Why? Because the Holy Ghost is a ghost, right? Or is it just symbolism? I haven’t figured that out yet. Demons are in ‘ghost’ form, too. Also, Jesus supposedly healed the sick, cured the blind, turned water into wine, walked on water, etc. Wouldn’t that be considered…magic and spell work?

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that the majority of humans on this planet believe in a God that they’ve never seen or met, merely believing because they were taught to by someone who was also taught to. There are some pretty tall tales, if you think about it. Makes everything else I listed seem not so far-fetched.

I’m a relatively logically-minded person, m’kay… I like to either see proof of existence or come to a general consensus of my thoughts that something is probable. In my mind, aliens and ghosts exist. Have I ever seen or met an alien? Can’t say that I have, but it’s extremely probable that they do, indeed, exist. The evidence is pretty convincing. It would be arrogant of us, as a race, to believe humans are the only intelligent beings in the vast Universe. I believe in human-manifested “magic” because I have seen telekinesis, telepathy and other forms of environmental and physical manipulation using just the power of the mind or your body’s energy. I believe in ghosts because I have seen, felt and even conversed with these phenomena using my normal senses and scientific equipment designed to detect certain energies. We DO know that ghosts are purely made of energy. HOW can they exist? I haven’t a clue, but that’s why I continue to research and study it, so that I can gain a better understanding, beyond my personal experiences.

I’m keeping my mind open to the whole “God” thing, but I’m not willing to accept it until I have proof. Hard proof or a logical theory that makes the idea seem probable to me. Until then, the jury’s out, I’m afraid.